Sunday, October 24, 2010

jadi degil, jadi keras kepala, jadi orang yang determined


I pride myself for not having a plan and live life as it is, and 21 years later, I arrived at a point where I stood in front of the mirror and said " this is just how my life should be". Realize it or not, I planned my life. Aku tahu aku akan pakai braces, jadi kurus, pergi overseas, belajar kat nz, dengan izin Allah lah kan. Sebab aku ada determination. apa translation dalam BM, aku pun tak tau. haha. 

kalau aku dah tekad nak buat something, betul aku akan usaha sampai dapat. yes, I'm suck in making decisions. tapi, sekali aku tahu apa aku nak dalam hidup, that's just it. kau boleh berbuih- buih mulut bagi nasihat, boleh sejam bagi tazkirah, tapi at the end, kau tahu aku type yang walk the talk. ouh, btw, tahu tak, aku dari darjah 5 duk google how nz looks like. punyalah suka nz kan :D

sebab tu lah, aku pilih untuk tak balik msia this summer. I know, I know. dah banyak kali cakap pasal benda ni. aku bersyukur lah aku ni jenis keras kepala, degil, sebab kalau tak, time tengok kawan- kawan packing barang nak balik ni lah yang nak rasa sedih, emo, nak mengungkit kenapa gatal sangat tak beli tiket balik 2-3 bulan lepas. tapi, tak. aku gembira je. masih boleh senyum. alhamdulillah. aku ni kaki travel, aku ni pencinta alam, eceh, itu je masalahnya.

bukan aku tak risau nak tinggalkan family 2 tahun ni. banyak benda boleh jadi. Si jezmine tu dah hilang. I missed seeing my niece growing up. I missed my parents' 49th birthday. but, I've made a promise to myself. aku nak didik hati jadi sabar. aku nak jadi independent. alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah. dipermudahkan. 


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

conclusion of trimester 2

Serius, kadang- kadang rasa macam tak layak untuk dapat this kind of grade. assignment I mean. dah 2 kali jadi benda ni. Bukan tak bersyukur. Grateful I am. Sangat. Assignment EPSY244 hari tu betul aku rasa macam sampah je. Bila pergi ambil result, tu dia. siap belek 2-3 kali paper, kot- kot bukan paper aku. Memang Allah nak bagi rezeki macamni. 


Aku tak put effort betul- betul this trimester sebab busy kerja. Ok, let me clarify one thing. Aku kerja, betul, untuk duit. tapi bukan untuk diri sendiri. bukan untuk beli gadget cool macam DSLR atau Ipad. itu guna duit elaun. Like I said, my parents will be coming to nz. When? I can't tell for sure. Tapi, aku betul nak bila diorang datang sendiri, diorang tak perlu keluarkan sesen pun duit. Nak bayar accomodation, kereta pakai senyuman je ke? tak lepas. tak lepas. sebab tu kena kerja kuat.  aku harap orang faham. It' just that orang nampak aku banyak kerja sebab kat tempat berbeza. truth is, sama je dengan orang yang kerja kat satu tempat, tapi dia buat hari- hari. What differs us is that I get to see some of the coolest scenery ever along the way. believe me, there are hell lots of places you haven't seen in wellington, tak rugi beli DSLR. haha..






I've achieved some of the goals I set early of trimester. Being nice to john, oh yes. He's not that bad. I even asked for his autograph. Janet Holmes is next on my list. And then, EPSY paper. Well, what can I say?  I despised it too much that I skipped the class several times. thing is, aku suka this course sebab lecturer and tutor dia ada high knowledge about things they talked about. sebab aku memang suka tanya soalan dalam kelas, kalau kau tak dapat jawab, shame on you. Haha. Aku suka juga kalau orang ajak aku argue about an issue, sebab aku pantang orang bangkang pendapat aku. So, basahlah benang tu macamana sekali pun, akan ku tegakkan juga. My bad ;p

Friday, October 8, 2010

Been there, done that.

I've done a lot of stupid things before. some hasty decisions. People often said that you could always learn from your mistakes. But honestly, you could just learn from watching others. You don't necessarily have to be there.

See, life is not just about finding Mr Right or Prince Charming. It's not even close to buying a mansion or a penthouse, or driving a ferrari just to gain people's approval. Having a nice bunch of friends who can ask you out for window shopping and watch scary movies together? Nahh. I'll pass that one. Apparently, a classy Louis Vitton Handbag, matched with a pair of Jimmy Choo's high hells (heels oopsie) would not make you the happiest person on earth either.

A temporary excitement, I would say. Like when you bought yourself a new DSLR, brought it here and there, and woke up 2 days later just to realize that you didn't even care where you have been putting it. You get bored, you move on to other things that bring smile to your face again. Love, cars, handphone, outfits. Ahh, don't make me start with this lovey dovey thing. How could you say you're in love with Mr A when few weeks after that I saw you holding hand with Mr B? Not to say that holding hand is prohibited in Islam. Call me old- fashioned, I like being one :)

How I wish I didn't have to go through this situation. Juggling between studies and multiple jobs at the same time. 1 major assignment and 2 upcoming test before the trimester ends. And still sittting in front of the laptop, doing nothing except than constantly switching the tab back to facebook. and for that reason, I'm deactivating it for a while. Let's see how long it's gonna last, aye?

Lots of plans for this coming holiday. It's 3 months, people. Haaaven. Travel. work. travel. work. find the accomodation for next year. help the juniors settle down once they arrive. work. study. work. study. then it's holiday again. Well, as for now, I'm gonna speed things up a little bit, finishing my assignment in 2 days time, revising the 200+ pages of Janet Holmes' book, and spending my evening at the beaches. Till then, take care people :)

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Food Sick

pernah tak rasa boring dengan masakan sendiri? haih. It's not about being ungrateful. it's just that..I miss eating ikan keli sambal, kerang rebus, sotong masak sambal, gulai nangka, ikan bawal sweet sour, burung puyuh, pisang goreng, cempedak goreng, yong tau foo, rojak buah, kerepok lekor, murtabak, charkuey teow, kuey teow kungfu, ABC, laksa, mee hailam, tomyam, nasi goreng pataya,  ayam percik, karipap sardin, taufufa, apam balik, mee goreng mamak, telur bungkus...

Kalau rezeki murah sikit, dapatlah merasa air tangan kawan- kawan. masak roti jala lah, mee kari lah. tapi, haih....ini belum homesick, baru foodsick, dah down betul. tu yang duk ligan semalam cari ketam, seafood, popia. borong habis barang kat Pak n' Save tu. 

Memanglah bagus duduk sini. At least, dapat improve skill memasak. katalah tak datang nz, sampai ke tua kot tak reti masak rendang, kuah kacang, sagu, kek batik semua. Depend sangat kat umi. bukan kat msia tak pernah masak. Asal balik dari maktab je, inilah muka yang kena masak untuk adik beradik semua. tapi simple je lah. setakat ayam sambal, kicap lepaslah. Ni, first time buat kubis masak lemak pun, ayah yang ajar. Punyalah tak pernah pegang santan pun sebelum tu haha. 

Tapi.. tu lah, rindu makan masakan mak, makanan kenduri, restaurant, warung tepi jalan, kedai burger depan rumah, kedai Ahsan Sani depan maktab, makcik jerit "nasi lemak" pagi- pagi buta, haih. rindu. rindu. tak boleh terbawa- bawa perasaan ni. karang sume kerja tak jadi. 

Sebab tu lah, aku rajin pergi makan free kat open house, birthday party orang. at least, adalah variety sikit. senang ceritalah, hari- hari kat sini kalau tak makan ayam, mesti seafood, telur, kentang. Tak ada nak jumpanya kerang, ikan bagai. Nevertheless, alhamdulillah. At least adalah nak dimakan. selalu rasa makanan tak cukup, padahal yang duduk Palestin, Pakistan sume tu. Lagilah. Haih Att. 

Dan sebab tu lah, hari ni aku decide nak buat kuih sagu. Esok, ketam lemak cili api. Lusa, tomyam daging. Next, ayam paprik. Next lagi, nasi lemak. Penuhlah inbox umi minggu ni, aku duk minta resipi je haha. *Hari- hari selepas tu, baliklah rutin asal. Ayam, telur, kentang, seafood. Haihhh...... *

p/s: yang juniors, selagi ada masa kat msia tu, makan jangan tak makan. balun kasi puas sebelum fly. untuk orang yang hati kuat tak balik selama 2 tahun ni, haha (that's me), telan- telan air liur je lah nampaknya. nasib baik ada air liur lagi :)

bilalah agaknya dapat makan ni lagi eh?


 

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