Monday, March 28, 2011

kalau dah bosan sangat..

so, it's been a long time. hari tu punya busy buat assignment. style last minute buat kerja. nak kata ada benda menarik, tak lah sangat. cuma jadi AJK fotografi untuk WMSO. apa nama penuh aku pun tak tau. Syoklah Drew, dia suka ambil gambar banyak- banyak ni :P


ergh.. nak cerita pasal apa entah. hmmm... ohh, sekarang ni tengah busy dengan gym. lagi 2 minggu je, lepas tu kena timbang balik berat. nak tengok dapat tak capai target 48 kg. hari tu skype dengan umi, umi risau pasal nampak tulang muka. kurus sangatlah tu haha. tapi muka je. orang nak satu badan. orang nak jadi kurus gilerrrr... kalau tak mengenangkan aneroksia ni menyakitkan diri sendiri, dah lama i buat haha..oh, katalah aku obses nak jadi kurus. kau tak pernah jadi gemuk, kau duk senyap- senyap.


life? alhamdulillah, makin gembira. dapat kawan- kawan yang baik, supporting, siapa tak suka kan? yang kasi hati wa panas, Reid Iris la. tak habis- habis nak buat perangai. hari tu bateri dia pulak mampuih. esok wa beli jugak scooter karang. sekarang ni wa pakai scooter kaki tu je. malu gak arr, budak tadika seronokla main benda tu kan..


pastu sekarang nak selesaikan satu challenge ni.. 



Day 1 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts (you don't have to reveal your face)

Day 2 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

Day 3 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Day 4 - A picture of something you'd like to do again

Day 5 - A picture of something you love

Day 6 - A picture that makes you laugh

Day 7 - A picture of the person you do the silliest things with

Day 8 - A picture of your hero / knight / heroine

Day 9 - A picture of you and the person who has gotten you through the most

Day 10 - A picture of your most treasured item

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

Day 12 - A picture of your favorite memory

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

Day 14- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

Day 19 - A picture and a letter (choose any photo and write short entry to explain why you've chosen it)

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

Day 25 - A picture of your favourite day

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member

Day 28- A picture of something you're afraid of

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

tahan la kau hadap gambar aku ye lepas ni haha

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

so what's your relationship status

I was inspired to write about this issue when one of my friends asked me about my relationship status. He said, "Come on, takkanla tak ada. hari tu dalam blog cakap pasal complicated la, ni la". I just laughed. haha. sambung makan diam- diam. orang kata tengah makan tak baik bercakap. alasan :D

nak cari mr right bukan senang. lagi- lagi kalau guna yahoo chat room haha. kadang- kadang bila rasa dah jumpa the right one, he turned out to be someone else's bf. macam michael owen. ok patah hati wa cakap. sekarang nick jonas pulak. haih..

relationship jadi complicated sebab manusia yang choose untuk jadikan dia complicated. tapi betul, kalau boleh nak sangat suka kat someone tu guna cara yang sah. meaning, jadi isteri dia terus. tak perlu nak couple, buat tambah dosa, buat sakit jiwa. tapi lelaki ni lain. nak kumpul duit dulu, nak kerja, nak hantar mak ayah pergi haji. baguslah. tapi, kalau dah lama sangat. sanggup pulak nak tunggu.

esok kalau nak kahwin, taknak letak hantaran tinggi- tinggi. serius. just nak wedding tu dalam dewan. tak mau depan rumah, panas huhu. lepas tu nak dia jenis yang sabar. dia faham bila aku sensitif. boleh pergi pasar, boleh buat kerja rumah.  oh, sebenarnya ini ciri- ciri ayah aku haha. bahagia hidup tau. oh, ayah saya left-handed jugak. macho giler haha. but then, the most important thing is, you can love me for who I am.

Ohh, yang lelaki hari tu cerita dalam blog? dah move on pun. sebabnya ? JUST BECAUSE YOU LOVE SOMEONE, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO STICK AROUND AND SCREW UP THEIR LIFE :D

Monday, March 14, 2011

still, 3rd class mentality. shame on you!

Alhamdulillah, semalam dah setel beli tiket flight family datang NZ. Bukan parents je, tapi adik beradik sekali. ok, mesti korang lucky kan dapat akak macam aku? aku kerja penat- penat ni untuk korang la. haha. dapat lagi 2 kerja baru hari ni. mak aih, rumah dia. besar nyah. orang kaya betullah. yang lagi sorang nama Helen tu tak tau lagi nak accept tak job offer dia. nanti asyik duk kumpul duit, ganggu study susah juga kan. eh tapi betullah, kalau kau kerja, lagi kau boleh manage time elok- elok tau. 


oh, nak cerita pasal opinion. tau kan cerita berita harian keluar kartun ultraman lari kena kejar tsunami? ah, yang keluar kat CNN tu. taklah melatah teruk pun waktu benda tu keluar, kita tanya dulu kalau ada orang yang sokong benda tu kan. oh, ada... maybe sebab dulu jepun jajah kita? lagi satu kartun tu kalau orang tak faham memang kita gelak weh. Lawak juga. But guess what? It's not funny anymore when you have a brother, a sister or your loved ones living in that place. Empathy man, empathy. Ingat lagi earthquake kat Christchurch? 


seminggu lepas tu, PM dia ada buat 2 minutes of silence. waktu tu aku kat supermarket new world. semua orang diam, tak bergerak. Entah macamana, pandang kiri, pandang kanan, tetiba je rasa sebak. pastu pasang pula anthem new zealand. ok rasa nak pecah dada. How could you not be moved by that? people died, they've lost their homes. kau nak cakap kau diorang, "hey, it's all gonna be okay" pun kena fikir banyak kali. bcoz you know, time heals the wound, but the scars remain. 


ye, aku tahu ada setengah orang memang tak senang tersentuh dengan benda macam ni. tapi, kalau ye pun nak bergurau, keep it to yourself. ni nak cerita satu dunia, kau juga nampak bodoh nanti, kan? ohh... sambung cerita video kami benci anwar hadi pula.


apa jadah kau buat video tu pun aku tak tau. biasanya aku kalau lepas view video, nak like/dislike video tu pun aku malas, tapi this time aku siap komen lagi. aku rasa tak ada masalah pun kalau mak dia yang basuhkan spender dia. eh, baca ye, aku bukan biggest fan anwar hadi pun, tapi kalau dah duk kutuk nama orang, especially english dia, aku panas la juga. 


kau tak pandai english, kau pergi belajar. kau mengaku kat youtube tu, memang nampak sangatlah ketakpandaian kau. berani buat video tapi tak berani tunjuk muka. what a chicken. part mana pula dia poyo? kalau pun kau ada different opinion, the least kau boleh buat, kau respond/ comment kat video dia tu. ni kata mamat ni poyo la, bajet macho la. eh  hensem jugak kot dia tu. belajar overseas lagi. kalau dasar orang suka dengki ni, memang macam tu la. 3rd class mentality, READ, 3rd class. *peliklah, waktu kau nak upload video tu, korang tak tengok ke macamana teruknya cara korang kutuk orang* hah, sekarang ni korang pula jadi bahan kutukan. best, kan. hah, tau pun nak delete video tu. takut orang makin kutuk lagi ke bang? what goes around comes around, bi***. oh, ok baik berhenti tulis sekarang. hati meluap- luap dah ni. 









Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I'll come out stronger

Tak sangka dah 8 tahun, setiap kali ada je benda yang resemble incident tu, hati masih rasa sakit. 2-3 tahun lepas incident tu, boleh kata setiap minggu masuk pejabat kaunselor. budak bermasaalah. takut nak tidur, sebab setiap kali pun, mimpi semua nak ngeri- ngeri je. bangun, meleleh- leleh air mata. paling teruk waktu exam besar. PMR, SPM. hari- hari menangis. kata je lah kat diri sendiri, I'll come out stronger each day. Depan orang je lah. sakit dalam, X-ray pun orang tak nampak.


Ni baru tulis dalam blog, dah kesat sana- sini. Kalau suruh cerita.... 
Kau....dengar.... sebab aku tak sanggup nak confront kau, dan cakap sebab kenapa aku terasa sangat... kau tau walaupun mulut aku straight forward rasa nak kasi pelempang je, aku yang akan nangis dulu...


incident 8 tahun dulu ni, macam nak mati aku try nak lupa. kau role-play benda yang sama bai. kecewa sangat, sampai aku deactivate fb, delete twitter, abandoned blog. yang lawaknya, sekarang kalau nak rasa isolated dari semua orang, pakai teknologi je. event ada makan free kita pergi jugak, kan? aahaha... 


hari ni buka Al- Quran. berderet ayat pasal kemaafan. aku memang dah get ready nak jumpa kaunselor sebenarnya, but Allah knows best. Dia bagi petunjuk straight terus masuk dalam hati aku, sampai aku rasa, "dahlah, bukan salah kau. kau tak tahu pun apa yang jadi dulu kan"


I might not be the type of friends you're wishing for, but I'll try my best to make the best out of everything. and if you happen to read this, know that, I've forgiven you. and if you happen to feel that I'm cocky and you haven't done anything wrong, know that, yes, I was the one who has wronged myself for a very long time. But this time, I'll come out stronger than ever. 


sama- sama minta maaf. 


"And whoever is patient and forgives- indeed, that is of the matters [worthy] of resolve-" 42:43.



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